You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
