Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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