Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
