Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
My life is pants optional.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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