i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize