Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
