DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
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