we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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