My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
