That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Little spoons don't ask big questions
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize