Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
