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her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
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