I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
