I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!