So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.