All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
