She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Randomize
