So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
We had sex on a dog bed..
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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