He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
smell my finger.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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