Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
You are a genius and a whore.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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