Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
