areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
