I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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