he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
