return my video game
I need help removing her.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
