I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
