so explain again why im purple
no
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
