Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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