Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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