I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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