I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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