Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
