I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
