Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
