he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
