I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Randomize