She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
