I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize