I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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