Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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