I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
i think my mom watched the whole time
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
