I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I'm sobbing to NWA
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Randomize
