Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
