He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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