I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
