i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
