dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
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