Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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