Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
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