Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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