I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
