John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Randomize
