A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
