based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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