Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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