She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I haven't been this sober since birth.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
