I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
