i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
