Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
