between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Randomize
