Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Randomize
