If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize