I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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