You can't special order awesome
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I want a musical about memes.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
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