the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
