life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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