i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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