Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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