Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Just cropdusted the office
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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