That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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