there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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