trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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