There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I could fuck to npr.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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