just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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