my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
HIV tests are more positive than that guy
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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