either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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