Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I think i got beer on your cat.
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